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Microsoft Christmas!

  Glenn T. Livezey wrote
  >Thank you Mark.
  >Absolutely smarvelous!
  >But where's Bill Scrooge?
  >Or the Gates who stole Christmas?
  >Or "MS buys northpole, elves now consultants"?
  HERE IT IS!..<evil grin>
  courtesy my "code-side" partner..Jorah Lavin who "got it from another list"
  >> **************** Have Yourself a Microsoft Christmas*************
  >>> 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through
  >the house
  >>> Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  >>> The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
  >>> As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.
  >>> The stockings were hung by the modem with care
  >>> In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.
  >>> The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
  >>> While visions of computer games danced in their
  >>> PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,
  >>> And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
  >>> The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
  >>> To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com -
  >>> Which has now been re-routed to Washington State
  >>> Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill
  >>> All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle
  >>> To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.
  >>> After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,
  >>> St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,
  >>> With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,
  >>> And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the
  >>> From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow
  >>> In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
  >>> The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
  >>> Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.
  >>> No more dolls or toy soldiers or little toy drums
  >(ahem - pardon me)
  >>> No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
  >>> Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS
  >>> With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
  >>> From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.
  >>> More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
  >>> And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by
  >>> "Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
  >>> Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you
  >>> It is Microsoft's Santa the jolly old elf,
  >>> And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.
  >>> Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's scheme,
  >>> And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
  >>> To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!
  >>> Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"
  >>> And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap,
  >>> Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
  >>> When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
  >>> The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
  >>> As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the
  >>> The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
  >>> As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
  >>> My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.
  >>> And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
  >>> Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
  >>> And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,
  >                                           L I S A   C
  >O L V I N
  >                UCLA Graduate School of Education and
  >Information Studies
  >                        Department of Library and
  >Information Science
  >                   Multimedia and Information
  >Technology Lab Assistant
  >                                   D I G I T A L    A R
  >C H I V I S T