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*JOKE* Apple Architecture
At the risk of being assessed a penalty for being "off-topic"..
I maintain there have been enough comments on "Apple Architecture" that I
feel justified in posting this *joke* [recently offered on our local apple
CUPERTINO, Calif. - November 19, 1997 - Apple Computer Inc.
>> today announced that every employee but Steve Jobs will be
>> leaving the company.
>> "Although disappointing, this attrition still fits well into
>> the three year plan for turning around Apple" said Steve Jobs,
>> President and CEO of Apple.
>> In a move that surprised even the most skeptical of analysts
>> over 12,000 employees have given notice that this will be
>> their last week at Apple Computer. 74% of the employees
>> claimed "Pursuing other opportunities as their reason for
>> leaving. Other popular responses were:
>> "Want to spend more time with my family", "It has been a
>> long fun road, but it is time for me to move on", and,
>> "When the cost cutting taskforce catered lunches went from
>> hot meals to bag lunches, I knew it was time to leave."
>> "In their tenure at Apple, everyone greatly improved Apple's
>> business activities", said Mr. Jobs, acting VP of Human
>> Resources. "The employees were an integral part of our
>> success, and they will be missed. However, I do not see this
>> will in any way change our strategy." Upon further reflection,
>> Steve did comment that this would make the expected 30-35%
>> layoff plan much easier to implement.
>> A spokesperson for Apple, sounding like a muffled Jobs, said
>> there would be a further consolidation of operations.
>> Manufacturing would be shut down for a short period of time
>> while new floor workers were trained.
>> Steve was sighted at Apple's Singapore factory trying to get
>> a torque wrench to work. In addition, the spokesperson said
>> all of Apple Marketing, Sales, Quality, and R&D would be
>> placed under one global organization. Steve Jobs will be
>> acting in this role until a suitable candidate is identified.
>> Calls into Apple's SOS support line and main number were
>> answered by an automated system saying the line would be
>> picked up in less than 26 hours. When the line did finally
>> pick up we were surprised to finally have a chance to speak
>> with Steve in person. He quickly apologized for any
>> inconvenience and blamed the delay on what he described
>> as a WinTel driven phone interface that took him hours to
>> Apple's new executive management team, which did consist of
>> 10 members will be reduced to five. They are: Steve Jobs -
>> CEO and President, Steve Jobs - Acting VP of Operations,
>> Steve Jobs - Acting Senior VP of Marketing, Steve Jobs -
>> Acting VP of Human Resources and Steve Jobs - Acting
>> CTO/COO/CAO/CFO. Steve Jobs was not available for comment.
>> Apple's stock was off 3/8 to 1/38 in light trading Friday.
>> Asked if he was worried about a hostile takeover, Acting
>> CFO Jobs said, "Don't worry, we still have $87,000 in cash
>> and checks in the checkbook. I'm not expecting a problem
>> until we achieve long term profitability."
>> Mr. Jobs did revise his predicition on achieving profitability
>> from Q497 to early next quarter. He cited dramatically lower
>> operating costs and salaries as major reasons for the new found
Heather Wimberly Beech,A.I.A.
Green Rose Design