[Random-bits] Five reasons why Ann Coulter doesn't like John Edwards

[James Love]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-love/five-reasons-why-ann- 
coul_b_54524.html
The Huffington Post
Five reasons why Ann Coulter doesn't like John Edwards

Posted July 1, 2007 | 03:17 PM (EST)

Why is Ann Coulter so focused on John Edwards? It could be all sorts  
of reasons, but here are a few possibilities, along with some words  
of comfort for Ann Coulter.

Reason 1. John Edwards is Christian, and says Jesus wanted us to help  
the poor and powerless. This apparently runs counter to her theory of  
what is needed to get to heaven.

If you are a Christian, this is something to think about. Jessie  
Helms seemed to connect with this idea late, as he prepared to meet  
his maker, and he became an unlikely champion of helping AIDS  
patients in Africa. Ann has lots of time to repent.

Aside from the "New Testament" thing, Coulter seems jealous of John  
Edwards's personal situation.

Reason 2. John Edwards is a man. Coulter says she is "more of a man"  
than liberal democrats. She seems like "more of a man" than most  
right wing republicans too, if you define being a man as being ready  
to insult everyone for anything. Compared to Ann Coulter, Rudy  
Giuliani, Fred Thompson, and Donald Rumsfeld are sissies.

Unless she is hiding something under her mini dress, she isn't  
actually a man, and this seems to bother her. But she shouldn't worry  
too much. I think people are beginning to be less sexist in terms of  
whom they think can be a leader, or what leadership means. Ann must  
know this, because she is clearly embraced by the anti-feminist  
republican community, for her ability to skewer the opposition. They  
don't mind that she is not actually a man. Neither do I. I think it  
is refreshing that the republicans have adopted an unmarried vampy  
women who comes across as a dominatrix to be their chief spokesman  
for traditional (family) values and pious religious practices.

Reason 3. John Edwards is better looking than Ann Coulter. She seems  
pretty focused on this, but she should relax. What is scary about Ann  
Coulter has nothing to do with her physical appearance, which is not  
spectacular, but fine by the prevailing standards. Look, I know what  
it's like. John Edwards is a lot better looking than I am too. So is  
George Clooney, but I don't hold that against him as an actor,  
director or film producer. That's just the way it is, and at our age,  
these things don't improve much. Try to find a lover willing to  
overlook this.

Reason 4. John Edwards knows how to buy cloths the right size. Ann  
seems to have some trouble in this department. She should lighten up.  
Lots of us end up buying cloths that are actually too small for us,  
sometime for different reasons. But she shouldn't change. By wearing  
dresses a couple of sizes too small, she makes the rest of us feel  
better about our own limited fashion sense. So this is kind of a  
public service.

Reason 5. John Edwards seems to have a devoted and loving family. Ann  
doesn't seem to even have a steady date or any good friends. Hey,  
there's still time. With plenty of money, you can probably buy some  
friends.

This family stuff is not as easy as it might look, and no one is  
judging Ann Coulter for her lifestyle. Nowadays there is less  
pressure to be the traditional couple or family. Just ask Mary  
Cheney, or tons of people who don't have kids. Sometimes my kids  
wonder why I thought I could be a dad. Actually, it's perfectly fine  
with me if Ann Coulter doesn't have half a dozen kids. Really. And I  
think I speak for a lot of people on this one.


---------------------------------
James Packard Love
Knowledge Ecology International
mailto:james.love@keionline.org
tel. +1.202.332.2670 / U.S. mobile+1.202.361.3040, Geneva mobile  
+41.76.413.6584

"If everyone thinks the same: No one thinks."  Bill Walton"