[Med-privacy] "Microsoft, MD"

[peter marshall]

Microsoft, MD
Posted Oct. 23 at by Brian Miller


Planning on getting sick? Hoping to schedule elective surgery?=20
Expecting a baby? You might want to wait for the new release of Vista.=20=

At least that=92s one scenario to the disturbing announcement earlier=20
this month that Microsoft is getting into the health care biz, a $2=20
trillion market. Its free new HealthVault service (www.healthvault.com)=20=

will store all your most intimate and vital medical records for you and=20=

your doctors to update and share.

That=92s right: The company that brought you Zune and Microsoft Bob, the=20=

friendly neighborhood monopolist presently being sued in dozens of=20
European courts, the pioneer of total system crashes, threatening=20
one-way =93dialogue=94 boxes, and irretrievably lost documents wants to =
be=20
trusted with your mammogram results, your PSA scores, and your=20
children=92s allergy medications.

The Web site is already live and waiting for you to upload every=20
possible detail about your past medical history=97that college abortion=20=

you never told your parents about, those years of psychotherapy and=20
antidepressants, the time you sued your dentist for touching you=20
inappropriately while under anesthesia. So many secrets to share. Then=20=

all that information is stored in Microsoft=92s supposedly secure,=20
encrypted database, which is regulated by its Windows Live ID log-on=20
protocols (if it=92s good enough for IM, it=92s good enough for your =
MRIs).=20
Not that hackers would ever target Microsoft or anything.

Or you can employ HealthVault=92s search function. For instance,=20
syphilis! HealthVault tells us that, =93Many people do not notice=20
symptoms for years. Symptoms can go away and come back.=94 (Try that for=20=

a pick-up line at Peso=92s.) Also, would you like to buy a book on that=20=

venereal subject from Amazon.com, one of Microsoft=92s many commercial=20=

partners? (Now we see why the service is free.)

And, after malady-entry, the system works in two directions. Microsoft=20=

partners like Seattle=92s Healthphone Solutions are preparing to send =
you=20
text messages tailored to your health needs! If you=92re trying to quit=20=

smoking, for example, you might receive a friendly reminder like,=20
=93Sensors inside your PC have detected the presence of a Marlboro =
Light.=20
Press =91Yes=92 for this computer to shut down immediately. Press =91No=92=
 for=20
this computer to shut down immediately.=94

Overweight? =93To burn off the calories from that donut just seen on =
your=20
PC=92s two-way video camera, run around the block three times or the =
file=20
containing your wedding photos will be permanently corrupted.=94

Or, maybe you=92ve got a drinking problem? =93You must blow into your=20
built-in Windows HealthVault Breathalyzer=99 and score 0.08 or less=20
before responding to any more online dating sites.=94

And for a different kind of addiction: =93Stop watching cyber-porn, or=20=

we=92ll email the links to your mother.=94

[Seattle Weekly blog]